Gals, we guys don't always know what to do.

[Hoof Hearted]

Peter and Dave were at a Disco. Pete was a lonesome sort of guy who had never had any success with the ladies. Dave on the other hand was a bit of a stud. Nevertheless for some reason the evening goes well for Pete and a short while before the Disco closes he asks Dave for some advice.

He says to Dave, “I’ve just met this great girl. We really get along well and she says she wants to see my flat. What do I do now? I’ve never had a girlfriend before, so I really don’t know what to do in this situation”.

“Don’t worry Pete.” says Dave, “It sounds to me like you have scored, me old mucker!”. “Listen, why don’t you give me your spare house keys. If you wait ten minutes before you leave with her, I can get to your pad before the two of you and hide in your bathroom. Then, if you find you need to know what to do next, you can just pretend you need to pee or something, and pop into the bathroom and ask me”.

Pete arrives at his flat and invites his date in for a coffee. Fifteen minutes (or so) later the young lady is sitting next to him nibbling his ear and running her hands over parts of him he didn’t know he had. He begins to panic but then remembers that his friend is in the bathroom.

“Excuse me just one moment, I need to pee.” says Pete and he rushes to the bathroom. Dave gives him advice on what to do next.

Time passes and Pete finds himself and his young date in the bedroom. She starts to unbutton his shirt. She presses her hot lips against his. She runs her fingers through his hair. His body responds strongly particularly, for some reason unknown to him, in the trouser area. He has never experienced this before so he begins to panic. But then he remembers that his friend is in the bathroom.

“Excuse me just one moment, I, I, I, I need to pee again.” Pete stutters and he rushes off to the bathroom once more. Again Dave gives him advice on what to do next.

She’s lying naked on the bed, her legs are splayed invitingly and her reddened vulva glistensing moistly in the lamplight. She hands him a condom and turns out the light. This is it. At last, he's about to score. But he doesn’t know what to do with her, so he begins to panic. Fortunately, he reminds himself that his friend is in the bathroom.

“Sorry, weak bladder, I’ve got to pee again!" says Pete and he rushes to the bathroom yet again. Dave advises on what he needs to do next.

This time however, when Pete disappears to the bathroom, the young woman, believing that Pete is inexperienced and is likely take a while to get the little rubber device on his cock, realises that she also needs to use the toilet. She cannot used the bathroom because knows that Pete is already using it. So, in desperation, she defaecates in Peter's waste paper basket - fully intending to tell him about it afterwards (naturally).

Peter emerges from the bathroom. It’s now pitch dark and he is blind. Consequently he accidently puts his foot in the waste paper basket.

“Ooaaww god! “ he exclaims, “It’s full of f'king s*it!!!!”.

“TURN HER OVER, YOU IDIOT!”; yells Dave from the bathroom.

[Core-Point]

Lmfao! This was such a good joke. I was having a bad day.. today, but man. This joke really cheered me up. It's a tad bit dirty. But I don't mind. Nice one. I got a good laugh. Rep your Way.

[Hoof Hearted]

Lmfao! This was such a good joke. I was having a bad day.. today, but man. This joke really cheered me up. It's a tad bit dirty. But I don't mind. Nice one. I got a good laugh. Rep your Way.

Gosh you were quick! I was still editing it when you replied. Many thanks. I'm glad you appreciated it. Took ages to get it right, If you get my meaning.

[Core-Point]

Gosh you were quick! I was still editing it when you replied. Many thanks. I'm glad you appreciated it. Took ages to get it right, If you get my meaning.

Hmm, glanced over your edited version.. Needless to say I liked it before you edited it. >_> <_< >_>

[Orta]

lol..thats sorta messed up

[GSmiles]

I take it that he didn't get his big score.

[BriGuy]

lol, nice one

[Hoof Hearted]

lol, nice one

Thanks for voting, everybody.