I am canadien

[Shinoku]

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.

Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not an American."

"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.

"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."


Forward this to other Proud Canadians!!!



!!!I AM CANADIAN!!!


I AM CANADIAN
(clears Thoat)
(the canadian one is actually a commercial and is all true!)

Hey...
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak English & French, NOT American.
and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.

A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!
CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!

MY NAME IS JOE!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!


I AM ITALIAN

Ciao...
I'm not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor.
I don't live in a basement, or eat pasta every night.
And I don't drive a Camaro.
And I don't know Tony, Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge,
Although I'm certain they're very, very hairy people.

I drink wine...not beer. I don't use utensils for pizza.
I believe in open bars at weddings, not cash.
And its pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO.

I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during the worldcup.
Gelato IS ice cream, Biscotti ARE cookies,
Antonio Columbro IS the best of the tenors,
And it's Broo-SKetta, not Broo-SHetta!!

Italy is the ONLY country shaped like footwear,
The FIRST nation of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!!
My name is Guiseppe !!!
AND I AM ITALIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I AM PAKISTANI

Allo,
I'm not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or a gas attendant.
I don't go to fleamarkets, or worshipelephants, or eat with my hands.
And I don't know Akbar, Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle,
Although I'm certain they're very smelly people.

I eat roti....not pita. I don't only shower once a week,
I believe in discounts, not full price.
And I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT.
I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during a terrorist siege.

A turban IS an article of clothing.
Spicy foods ARE better than mild foods
Curry is a VERY tasty dish,
and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee,not Gun-dee ,GAUN-dee!!

Pakistan IS a third world country,
The first nation of Cricket
And the BEST part of the middle east!!
My name is Raheem!
AND I AM PAKISTANI!!!!


I AM CHINESE!

Wai...
I'm not a cook, or a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat.
I don't live with my parents, I don't eat dog. I don't drive a souped-up Civic.
And I don't know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddingt Heights
Although I'm certain they're very rice... I mean nice people.

I use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the sidewalk.
I believe in giving cash, not gifts
And I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO.
I can proudly wave my country's flag at a tank during a massacre,

Dim sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk
Jet Li can kick Van Damme's *** anyday.
And it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi, not Gon HEE Fa

China is the LARGEST country in Asia
The FIRST nation of PING-PONG,
And the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!!
My name is FUNG!!!
AND I AM CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


and finally........



I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very well.
I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
although I'm pretty sure they were American.

I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go somewhere.
Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!

[Orphen]

o.o' Am I the only one somewhat offended by this?

I mean...America isn't the greatest place to live in everyone else's eyes (Although if we're not I have no idea why everyone risks life and limb to immigrate here...), but we're not THAT bad.

Seriously, your "I am American" bit to that last thing only describes no more than about 2% (if that) of americans...particularly the rednecks (Of which I've known a couple, sadly).

Sorry, didn't mean to rant...This just struck me as not so much a joke as an insult. =P Apologies to anyone that is offended by me.

[Amutt]

People are allowed to have their own ignorant opinion.

[Rockk]

Some nations want nothing to do with us, until something goes wrong. When something does go wrong, they come to America (or the UK) for help.

The thing is, this is what we get for being the most powerful country(ies) in the world. If we don't help a country when they ask for it, we're greedy and ignorant. We get frowned upon and are the subject of insults. If we do help a country, we're seen as a violent, war-loving nation. Being in this position isn't the best thing, but I can't say I'd want us to lose it any time soon.

*My post wasn't intended to be a response to the first post in this thread, but just my opinion on this sort of stuff. I don't want to comment directly in his post because, well, this is a joke forum and he might not be serious about it. It is offensive/ignorant, but most jokes are.*

[skyline228]

I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...
I'm going to collage, and I'm going to be a doctor.
And I do believe in dreams, a good life, and family.
I also believe money is a accesory to life, not the whole deal.,
People improve the world around
And I'm pretty sure they are American.

I like fruit, water and vegatables, i also hunt,
Guns are legal, and rarely used.
Winning isn't everything, fun is,
and im tired of Cuba floating over the poor.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack,
I eat at Burger Kind, so what,
I eat cereal for breakfast, with CLEAN milk.
I have a SHED, and a GARAGE, a park my car in there!

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the most powerful country in the world,
The FIRST nation of help
And the BEST part of freedom!!
MY NAME IS skyline228, I am married to my love,,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!

[Gameman]

It's a joke. A bad one but, just a joke.

One of the GREAT things about America is, we let EVERYONE, (Idiots included) have their say. Relax my fellow Americans

[Chrome Shock]

Originally posted by Amutt
People are allowed to have their own ignorant opinion.

Nicely put

Originally posted by skyline228
I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...
I'm going to collage, and I'm going to be a doctor.
And I do believe in dreams, a good life, and family.
I also believe money is a accesory to life, not the whole deal.,
People improve the world around
And I'm pretty sure they are American.

I like fruit, water and vegatables, i also hunt,
Guns are legal, and rarely used.
Winning isn't everything, fun is,
and im tired of Cuba floating over the poor.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack,
I eat at Burger Kind, so what,
I eat cereal for breakfast, with CLEAN milk.
I have a SHED, and a GARAGE, a park my car in there!

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the most powerful country in the world,
The FIRST nation of help
And the BEST part of freedom!!
MY NAME IS skyline228, I am married to my love,,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!

Damn straight





And Shinoku, do you have the right to judge Americans? Ever been one? Or are you just stating an idiotic stereotype? Either way, shut the hell up.

Sorry if I offended anyone by that, but I felt like I had to say it.

[Rockk]

Originally posted by Chrome Shock


And Shinoku, do you have the right to judge Americans? Ever been one? Or are you just stating an idiotic stereotype? Either way, shut the hell up.

Sorry if I offended anyone by that, but I felt like I had to say it.

Like good ol' Gman said, it was a joke. It may not have been the funniest or most appropriate joke, but there's still no need to jump on him like that.

[Chrome Shock]

Maybe so, but I still think he had no right crossing those lines. If I said the US should calibrate our nuclear warheads on Canada because they're useless, I'd get offended if I was Canadian.

But I'm not and I didn't, and he did, so was it a joke? Apparently, it's in the Jokes and Humor section. I really don't care if it was a joke, it still bothers me and I'm sticking to what I said.

[Kindred]

its a joke place but chrome Shock is right. There is limits.
or at least he should put on his title of the thread:
I am Canadian------***might get offended but i dont think that***

or something like that