Core-Point

Just got these joke's from a friend. She sent them to me, I got a short but good laugh. Figure I should share.
Number 5.

A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he
does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her
and says "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your **** is as hard as your
elbow, I'm in room 221."

************************************************** ***
Number 4.

A businessman boards a flight and is seated next
to a gorgeous woman. He notices she is reading a
manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it
and she replies, "This is a very interesting book. It
says that American Indians have the longest penises
and Greek men are the best in bed. By the way, my
name is Jill. What's yours?"
"Tonto Papadopoulos, nice to meet you."

************************************************** ***
Number 3

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the
husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey,
I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I
want to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes
later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do
you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

************************************************** *****
Number 2.

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been
employed there for a number of years when he came home
one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible
compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the
pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a
sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would
be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the
compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill
came home.
His wife could see at once that something was
seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do
you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous
urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh,
Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what
happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what
happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh... she got fired
too."

************************************************** *****
Number 1.

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were
sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the
wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were
sitting here at this breakfast table
together." "I know," the old man said, "We were
probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years
ago."
"Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old
times." Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat
down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old
lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for
you today as they
were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
"One's in your coffee and the other is in your
oatmeal.

__________________
"Even if he dies in a ditch, a man should die falling forward"
-Sakamoto Ryoma

"Nec sorte nec fato"

Orphen

*Highlight, right-click, copy, paste to notepad, save*

I've heard all but the last one before, but they're all excellent jokes. lol Good work man. =)

__________________
"Forgiveness is between them and God, I'm just arranging the meeting." - John Creesy (Denzel Washington)

Prior

LOL those were funny number 1 was hilarious nice wokr man.

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Core-Point

Well I share the laugh you share the RP, I feel it is a fair trade. o.o"
..Lmfao... (I am serious by the way >_> <_< >_> )

__________________
"Even if he dies in a ditch, a man should die falling forward"
-Sakamoto Ryoma

"Nec sorte nec fato"

Orphen

Am I the only one that just thought 'rep-whore' when I read that? o.o'

__________________
"Forgiveness is between them and God, I'm just arranging the meeting." - John Creesy (Denzel Washington)

WishIHadAName

I did...I thought "dear god those jokes were pretty good coming from a rep-whore who cant get rep pts of their mind...where did Core get the time to put jokes up when all core thinks about is, rep....?"

Wait...this isnt the ranting thread...on well...ill give you rep pts later you gold(rep)digger....

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Score

Modders:9999999999999
Me:12

Something tells me, Im starting to win against them

narcotic-ice

WARNING: Cringe guaranteed
A couple in a retirement home are sitting in their bedroom watching erotic porno. The male leans over a says "Hey, how about me an you, you know, get down. Like old times". The woman cracks into a smile and begins to undress.

Ten minutes later she says, "Go down on me, I haven't had oral in twenty years" The old man kisses his way down and breathes in deeply.
"By god!" the old man exclaims, "It stinks down here!"
"Well" she begins, "I've had arthritis in my hands for twenty years too..."

Chrome Shock

That was a good laugh, I'll give you rep for that.

Kindred

LOLOLOL great jokes man

Core-Point

No people, I am not a repwhore, You got it all wrong you silly silly confused people. Maybe a man of many moments, but thats about it.

__________________
"Even if he dies in a ditch, a man should die falling forward"
-Sakamoto Ryoma

"Nec sorte nec fato"