 Postman Pat's Last Day (Quite Mature)
It was Postman Pat's last day on the job as Postman after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns. His retirement party was well anticipated that evening.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family, who each hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift cheque for £50.00.
At the second house the owners presented him an 18-carat gold watch.
The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a blonde in lingerie.
She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love-making he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the blonde fixed him a full George Best breakfast: bacon, eggs, sausage & tomato with freshly-squeezed orange juice. After he had eaten his fill and was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a £5.00 note sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
'All this was just too wonderful for words,' he said tearfully, 'but what's the five quid for?'
'Well,' said the blonde, 'last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you.
I didn't have any good ideas, so I asked him what I should give you.'
He said, 'Fcuk him. Give him a fiver.'
She smiled and said, 'The breakfast was my idea.'
__________________  If god had meant us to be vegetarian, why did he make animals out of meat?
Last edited by Hoof Hearted; 10-17-2008 at 02:35 PM..
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