Hoof's Jokes *mature rating* - Page 2

Hoof Hearted · 01-21-2005, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bullet Proof XP

Unfortunatley for you this joke has already been done by Christina.

So it HAS!!

Hoof Hearted · 01-21-2005, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roughneck0101

That was funny!
and on a side note I have a sister inlaw who is 30 who does that exact same thing, with the low cut blouses no bra and short skirts, she is married and has two kids now but still likes to try and show me the goods every year we come up. I keep forgeting my digi camera though but one day I am going to wait for her to pull off her little stunt and just stand up and start snapping pictures.

U Lucky Bar Steward!!!

When you do - you'll post them here, right?

Hoof Hearted · 01-26-2005, 06:21 PM

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a jointwhen a lizard walks past, looks up and says to the monkey, "Hey, what're you doing?"

The monkey replies, "Smokin' a joint, man. Come up and have some."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they smoke a few joints. After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry and he's going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans over too far and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you, man?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting up a tree with a monkey smoking pot, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and wanders into the jungle. He finds the tree where the monkey is sitting finishing up a joint. The crocodile yells up to the monkey and says "Hey, man!"

The monkey looks down and says,"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck........man. How much water did you just drink?!"

Electro68 · 01-26-2005, 07:58 PM

Good one man~~~~KUDOS

Hoof Hearted · 02-01-2005, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dinky Duck

tha first part was tight, but as i got to tha end, it sucked..i was expectin somefin else...

-I gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphillis-

With your claim to fame, I don't really care.

Dinky Duck · 02-01-2005, 03:11 PM

now that i read it again after like a month or two, its pretty funny....

Quote:

With your claim to fame, I don't really care.

but what if i give you syphillis? what do i get in exchange? i might get you back for not getting somefin...an eye for an eye..so give me somefin for syphillis..

Hoof Hearted · 02-01-2005, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dinky Duck

now that i read it again after like a month or two, its pretty funny....

but what if i give you syphillis? what do i get in exchange? i might get you back for not getting somefin...an eye for an eye..so give me somefin for syphillis..

[color=lightgreen]Fair enough[/color[

XBS-Bot · 02-01-2005, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoof Hearted

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dinky Duck

now that i read it again after like a month or two, its pretty funny....

but what if i give you syphillis? what do i get in exchange? i might get you back for not getting somefin...an eye for an eye..so give me somefin for syphillis..

[color=lightgreen]Fair enough[/color[

Do not ask me any more questions please.

Hoof Hearted · 02-01-2005, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XBS-Bot

Do not ask me any more questions please.

I am a little fairy and my name is Nuff.

Fair enough!

Hoof Hearted · 02-03-2005, 02:59 AM

I was on the train to work this morning gazing out the window. There was Vicar sat opposite me busy doing a crossword puzzle in his newspaper. He tapped me on my knee and said -

“‘Something found at the bottom of a bird cage’, four letters ending in I - T”

“I beg your pardon?”, I said.

“‘Something found at the bottom of a bird cage’, four letters ending in I - T”, he repeated.

“Grit”, I replied.

“Oh!” he said with some chagrin, “Have you got an eraser?”